cliff jumping

here I can come to say that which would get me flagged

like how life is only harder and fleeting the older I get

like how being born withdrawing for cocaine and alcohol really shaped me

like how having parental and support systems that are inherently not that

like having people in my life who think I'm negative because I can't get over

environmental destruction, and racism..or economic in equality

I'm just a negative sad sap fuck face for noticing these things

why can't I just envelop myself in my white male privilege and just get over on everyone else

why can't I just want to consume? thoughtlessly, with no regard for a future


why can't I?

here the summary
I want to die

I want to give up on this scripted play

I actually convinced myself I had grown and made progress, faced demons and walked on fire.

put myself into compromising situation and returned with a head held high

maybe it was the smoke
maybe it was a joke


long story/ rant/ welp short


there is a glass of water sitting next to me and
30 little of options
they've never been more friendly,
they've never listened more
they have never liked me this much.


id say pray for me
but I know that's what got me here

do me a favor help me keep these pills down.